If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes! - Billy Connolly
China is a big country with a lot of chinese people living there. - Charles De Gaulle, Former French President
Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything. - Ivana Trump, upon finishing her first novel
In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often
I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a
woman in Madagascar. She said, "Cut it out." - Steven Wright
People always tell me "Have a nice day." Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day? - George Carlin
An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered. - G. K. Chesterton
But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown. - Carl Sagan
Believe nothing you hear, and only one half that you see. - Edgar Allan Poe
I don't believe in astrology; I'm a Sagittarius and we're skeptical. - Arthur C. Clarke
I wish I were dumber so I could be more certain about my opinions. It looks fun. - Scott Adams
I bought a self learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to
sleep; the record got stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish.
- Steven Wright
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the
prescription ran out. - Steven Wright
Isn't is it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin
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