Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. - Douglas Adams
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards.
I got a full house and four people died.
- Steven Wright
The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend. - George Carlin
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that! - Tom Lehrer
Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. - George Carlin
If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there.
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
- Steven Wright
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. - George Carlin
I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
- Steven Wright
What if there were no hypothetical questions? - George Carlin
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck. - George Carlin
Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. - George Carlin
I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. - George Carlin
Would a fly without wings be called a walk? - George Carlin
- more quotes -
