By all means, let's not confuse ourselves with the facts!
Work and acquire, and thou hast chained the wheel of Chance. - Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)
I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I
stood in line for some cake. They said, "Do you want white cake or chocolate
cake?" I said, "yes". - Steven Wright
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. - Mark Twain
By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong. - Charles Wadsworth
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. - Oscar Wlide
I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.
- Steven Wright
Isn't is it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin
I wish I were dumber so I could be more certain about my opinions. It looks fun. - Scott Adams
I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. - George Carlin
There's never a new fashion but it's old. -Geoffrey Chaucer
My neighbor has a circular driveway...he can't get out. - Steven Wright
In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period.
Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright
If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work. - George Carlin
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is. - Ellen DeGeneres
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