think about it...

If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

A mind is a terrible thing to ... er ... hmmmm?

I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings... Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire. -- Steven Wright

10 out of 5 doctors feel it's OK to be schizo!

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. - Douglas Adams

Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?

The people in the Navy look on motherhood as being compatible with being a woman. - Rear Admiral James R. Hogg

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it. -- Steven Wright

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world. -- Steven Wright

The advice of friends must be received with a judicious reserve; we must not give ourselves up to it and follow it blindly, whether right or wrong. -Pierre Charron

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. -- Steven Wright

It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago... - Dan Quayle

Is it possible to be totally partial?

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