The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable. -George Bernard Shaw
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory.
You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
- Steven Wright
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. - Billy Sunday
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? - George Carlin
Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away. - Benjamin Franklin
Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. - George Carlin
The opposite of war is not peace, It's creation -Unknown
A pessimist is never disappointed.
People are wonderful one at a time. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. - George Carlin
An obstacle may be either a stepping stone or a stumbling block.
There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it. - George Carlin
In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem - George Carlin
Never seem more learned than the people you are with. Wear your learning like a pocket watch and keep it hidden. Do not pull it out to count the hours, but give the time when you are asked. - Lord Chesterfield
Backups? We doan *NEED* no steenking baX%^~,VbKx NO CARRIER
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