To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered. - Voltaire (1694 - 1778)
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. - Steve Martin
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Be more prompt to go to a friend in adversity than in prosperity. - Chilo
I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, some is going to tell you, 'There is no I in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity.'" - George Carlin
I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own. - Woody Allen
AIBOHPHOBIA - the fear of palindromes.
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it. - George Carlin
Atheism is a non-profit organization. - George Carlin
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? - Abraham Lincoln
The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept. - George Carlin
Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. - George Carlin
Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don't compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest. - Sam Levenson (1911 - 1980) Humorist
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did. - George Carlin
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. - George Carlin
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