Confucius say: Those who quote me are fools.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. -Mark Twain
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. - Winston Churchill
DAM: Mothers Against Dyslexia.
"Did you sleep well?" "No, I made a couple of mistakes." - Steven Wright
I was under medication when I made the decision to burn the tapes. - Richard Nixon, US President
If you really want the world to beat a path to your door, try taking a nap.
I was in the first submarine. Instead of a periscope, they had a kaleidoscope.
"We're surrounded." -- Steven Wright
We are sorry to announce that Mr Albert Brown has been quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a short holiday to recover. - Parish Magazine
Talk is cheap, until you talk to a lawyer.
He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife. - Douglas Adams
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him -Michael, 14 Advice from Kids
Some people know lots more than they tell-- Some don't.
It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance? - Ronald Reagan
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