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The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. - Paul Fix

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. - Thomas A. Edison

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. - Douglas Adams

The best way to pay for a lovely moment is to enjoy it! -Richard Bach

I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help me, and I say, "Have you got anything I'd like?" Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, "Extra medium." - Steven Wright

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it. - Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826)

If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there.

I saw a small bottle of cologne and asked if it was for sale. She said, "It's free with purchase." I asked her if anyone bought anything today. - Steven Wright

I xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare. - Steven Wright

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that! - Tom Lehrer

No brook is too little to seek the sea.

There's never a new fashion but it's old. -Geoffrey Chaucer

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