Think About It
461 quotes in
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the
prescription ran out. -- Steven Wright
I xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare. -- Steven Wright
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. - Douglas Adams
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a
message and I'll call when I'm out." -- Steven Wright
One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera
to see my way around. I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face.
The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house. -- Steven Wright
A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs.
The most important ability is availability.
I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings...
Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire. -- Steven Wright
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. - George Carlin
Is it possible to be totally partial?
The only good thing about free advice is that the price is right.
All religions, arts and sciences are branches of the same tree. - Albert Einstein
Antidotes are what you take to prevent dotes. - Anon
If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month. - Theodore Roosevelt
- more quotes -