10 out of 5 doctors feel it's OK to be schizo!
Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change. - Confucius
Absence in love is like water upon fire; a little quickens, but much extinguishes it. - Hannah More
I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it
back. - Steven Wright
One-third of the people in this country promote, while the other two-thirds provide.
When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. If you're born in America you get a front row seat. - George Carlin
Religion is like a pair of shoes... Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes. - George Carlin
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck. - George Carlin
Ever notice how irons have a setting for *permanent* press? I don't get it...
- Steven Wright
If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. - Brooke Shields
They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning...[picks up his glass
of water from the stool]...I like to live on the edge... - Steven Wright
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target. - Ashleigh Brilliant
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that. - George Carlin
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. - Abraham Lincoln
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
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