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There is no spoon.

I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have is that I didn't study my Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people. - Dan Quayle

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world. -- Steven Wright

We are sorry to announce that Mr Albert Brown has been quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a short holiday to recover. - Parish Magazine

We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally. - Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign minister

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. - Abraham Lincoln

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. - Winston Churchill

Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent. - Steve Martin

All the world's a stage, but most of us are stagehands.

A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author. - G. K. Chesterton

I wish I were dumber so I could be more certain about my opinions. It looks fun. - Scott Adams

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. - Steve Martin

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. - Bryan White

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