The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt -Bertrand Russell
We say we love flowers, yet we pluck them. We say we love trees, yet we cut them down. And some people still wonder why some are afraid when they are told they are loved -Unknown
Ummm, Trouble with grammar have I! Yes! -Yoda
One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish.
My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world. -- Steven Wright
"Mr. Worf, scan that ship." "Aye Captain. 300 dpi?"
Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back.
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
Nothing is as hard to do as getting off your high horse.
I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap
department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know
when to stop unwrapping. -- Steven Wright
My neighbor has a circular driveway...he can't get out. -- Steven Wright
A man needs a good memory after he has lied.
In a world of pollution, profanity, adolescence, zits, broccoli, racism, ozone depletion, sexism, stupid guys, and PMS, why the hell do people still tell me to have a nice day? -Unknown
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Most of us know how to say nothing, but few of us know when.
If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
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