Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away. - Benjamin Franklin
There are no warlike people, just warlike leaders - Ralph Bunche
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt
dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright
If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. - Dalai Lama
43% of all statistics are worthless.
We are ready for an unforseen event that may or may not occur. - Dan Quayle
A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never quite sure.
Atheism is a non-profit organization. - George Carlin
The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in
their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright
People are wonderful one at a time. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. - George Carlin
The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. - Paul Fix
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. - George Carlin
When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. If you're born in America you get a front row seat. - George Carlin
If you really want the world to beat a path to your door, try taking a nap.
There is hopeful symbolism in the fact that flags do not wave in a vacuum.
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