The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. - George Carlin
Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like "Psychic Wins Lottery"? - Jay Leno
I do not regret one professional enemy I have made. Any actor who doesn't dare to make an enemy should get out of the business. - Bette Davis, The Lonely Life, 1962
How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand. - Emo philips
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. - George Carlin
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
If four out of five people suffer from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it? - George Carlin
People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think. - George Carlin
Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.
A perfection of means, and confusion of aims, seems to be our main problem. - Albert Einstein
Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. - George Carlin
In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above...so I never
have to go upstairs. - Steven Wright
Would a fly without wings be called a walk? - George Carlin
All the world's a stage, but most of us are stagehands.
Don't just teach your children to read... Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything. - George Carlin
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